Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Day 18- Love seeks to understand

How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding. --Proverbs 3:13

Today's Dare-

Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you've rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.

What did you learn about your spouse that you didn't know before? How could you continue this process of discovery in other ways, at other times? What were some of the moments that made this evening memorable?

I originally planned to complete this dare on Sunday. I made a nice meal, but we ended up with company. We weren't able to have our conversation. I wasn't exactly sure what to talk about, but I was just going to ask random questions. Monday rolled around and Havie had plans. So I finally got to complete the dare last night. God sure works in mysterious ways because a topic for our conversation was provided Monday.

Havie is in a line of work that pays very well, especially considering that you don't need college or anything beyond high school. He started out at the bottom right out of high school and has worked his way up ever since. He has a great reputation (I know because I've talked to people he works with) as a hard worker. The downside is that it is very physically demanding and dangerous. Additionally, these companies treat their employees like dog poo. Right now, he is stuck with this company because of the economy. There is very little work out there, so he's lucky to have a job. He is just fed up and ready to move on.

We've talked extensively about his options, but he's always hesitated to make any changes. So that's what our conversation was about. What does he really want to do and what is holding him back. One thing that surprised me is that he's holding back because he thinks the transition will be too hard on me. I wouldn't say that I learned anything new, but maybe relearned something.

To be honest- seeking to understand is what I am about. That's all I do. I think it's just part of my personality. I am constantly trying to understand. There's not much that I don't know about my husband because I've already asked so many questions. When I think of something else or he tells me something that I didn't know, I have to ask a million questions until I'm satisfied. I don't see that changing, I will always seek to understand.

What made last night so memorable was the way it felt. For the first time, I felt like we were on the same team. Working together to solve this problem. There was no defensiveness. We were just focused on these questions that needed to be answered. It felt great.

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