Wednesday, September 16, 2009
*For figurative language- makes life so colorful... I can't quite bring myself to call us "Metaphor Whores," so I think we'll stick with Crayola's of Communication... LOL, oh dear...
* For the fact that I couldn't wait until tomorrow to write my list, and having so much to say that I'm debating on what should come next!
* For amazing friends- I don't have a bunch of them, but I'll take quality over quantity anyday.
* For conversations and questions that open my eyes. That honesty and safety to say what needs to be said.
* For something feeling like home. It is a feeling that you can't really describe, but you just know it when you feel it.
* For the happiness and satisfaction I have right now as I watch the lives of three of my closest friends grow and blossom before my very eyes. It brings me so much joy and pride.
* For history, familiarity, comfort... I wasn't expecting those things to mean so much to me, but they feel so good.
* For a rainy weekend that ended with sun peaking out and God supplying the most fantastic rainbow I've ever seen.
* For these in-between times... I know they are necessary... Just don't like 'em... one bit
* For motivation... It really is the key
* For clarity and consciousness... working on both, and it feels good
* For this mess we're in... yes, I am thankful for it. Maybe it will push us to make all of those changes we've wanted to make but were too- scared, lazy, in denial, procrastinating...
* For the fact that I will be 29 soon, and that doesn't seem to bother me one bit. I'm ready to have the 20's over with- they sucked!
* For love.
Posted by brandi at 8:55 AM
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting their bad advice-
though the whole house began to tremble
and you felt the old tug at your ankles.
"Mend my life!" each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with it's stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy was terrible.
It was already late enough,
and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do the only thing you could do-
determined to save the only life that you could save.
Posted by brandi at 8:28 PM
Thursday, September 10, 2009
"You can never have too much sky. You can fall asleep and wake up drunk on sky, and sky can keep you safe when you are sad. Here there is too much sadness and not enough sky. Butterflies are too few and so are flowers and most things that are beautiful. Still, we take what we can get and make the most of it.
Darius, who doesn’t like school, who is sometimes stupid and mostly a fool, said something wise today, though most days he says nothing. Darius, who chases girls with firecrackers or a stick that touched a rat and thinks he’s tough, today pointed up because the world was full of clouds, the kind like pillows.
You all see that cloud, that fat one there? Darius said, See that? Where? That one next to the one that looks like popcorn. That one there. See that. That’s God, Darius said. God? somebody little asked. God, he said, and made it simple."
From House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros
Just wanted to share my favorite passage from my favorite book. That's all I've got to say today!
Posted by brandi at 9:47 AM
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Oh, I crack myself up sometimes...
So, it's been 10 days since my life turned sideways, and much has happened since my last blog, but I just haven't been ready to share because I'm still processing it myself.
About a week ago, my husband had yet another change of heart. He decided that he loved me and he missed me and he wanted to work things out, but he still wasn't coming home. And I have come to understand why he is unwilling to leave this job. For one, there just isn't work going on in his field right now. Two, this is turning out to be a great opportunity for him professionally. They have already discussed promotion with him. They are installing a state-of-the-art system that is the first of it's kind. If it goes well, they are going to be doing the same thing all around the country. This might revolutionize the oil refining industry, which will be great knowledge when he starts working on his engineering degree.
So, we are basically in this "in-between" state. There isn't much we can do right now other than work on ourselves. I can't worry about what he's doing or not doing. I can only focus on what I am doing or not doing. I really don't know what is going to happen or where this is going to go. I love my husband, and I believe in our marriage. We are both imperfect humans and we have spent too much time just settling back into what is comfortable instead of really dealing with our issues.
But I am refusing to just settle back in this time. I have lost some of my momentum over the weekend. It was difficult for me- very lonely. I felt myself starting to slip into depression territory. Which makes it that much more important for me to stay focused on my goals.
I leave for Denver early Saturday morning. I'm praying that the weekend together will provide us an opportunity to regain our footing. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!
Posted by brandi at 9:00 AM