Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire. --Song of Solomon 8:6 NIV
Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list and burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
How hard was it to destroy the list? What are some positive experiences that you can celebrate in the life of your mate? How can you encourage them toward future successes?
The book says that there is legitimate jealousy and illegitimate jealousy. Legitimate jealousy sparks when someone you love, who belongs to you, turns his or her heart away and replaces you with someone else. Illegitimate jealousy is to be jealous "of" someone, and it is rooted in selfishness.
Wow, that word selfish is a biggie in this book. And I understand why... it is our biggest problem as a culture and it the number one reason marriages fail. It's a tough character trait to deal with because you have to question each and every move you make. It makes me act intentionally, which is good, but sometimes exhausting.
I did not have a hard time destroying the list, but I didn't actually burn it. I didn't think I could pull that off without being noticed, and I'm pretty frightened of fire. I decided to shred it instead. It is in tiny pieces. Do you think that was good enough?
I've never really considered myself a jealous person. I'm not saying that I've never had a jealous thought, but that's all it really amounts to in the end- a thought that comes and goes pretty quickly. I especially would say that I'm not jealous of my husband. I consider his successes to be my successes because he is my husband and we are sharing our lives. Any and every success that we achieve is just as much a success for the other.
I told Havie that I am proud of him because he made a New Year's Resolution and has kept it! He decided no more soda's and hasn't had a single one since new year's eve. My husband was addicted... and I'm not kidding. I really didn't think he could do it, but he has and I am really proud. I've never been a huge soda drinker (like he was), but since he isn't having any, neither am I! So, his success is paying off for me too.
Havie is a pretty driven and motivated person when he wants something. I don't really have to encourage him, but I am trying to help him determine what exactly he wants. I just keep telling him that no matter what he chooses, I know he will be great and I will be there to support him!