Thursday, March 26, 2009

Day 11- Love Cherishes

**SPOILER ALERT** This blog contains material that may be unsuitable for those who are uncomfortable with sex talk. Trust me, it won't hurt my feelings if you choose to stop reading right here... :)

Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. --Ephesians 5:28

Today's Dare:

What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile.

What did you choose to show that you cherish your mate? What did you learn from this experience?

I have struggled the past 24 hours with whether or not I should write this blog. As soon as I read the chapter, I knew exactly what I needed to do to complete the dare. I immediately thought- I do not want to write about it. At the same time, I knew that I really needed to write the blog because it may help others in this situation. I also think it's important for me to be honest with myself in this process. In the end, I really wanted to stay true to this process because it seems to working so far... So, here we go- and besides I am a married woman! I should be able to talk about sex!

The chapter talks about how we often see our spouses as an object we own rather than a part of our own body. They gave an example of how we might replace a car that needed more repair than what it's worth, but if we broke the bones in our hand- we would do whatever it would take to repair it regardless of cost. We are a part of one another. Therefore we should treat them with the same nurture and care that you treat yourself.

So, back on day 5- Havie had to tell me 3 things that I do that irritate him or make him uncomfortable. I left off the 3rd thing from the blog. He told me that our lack of sex makes him irritated and he feels very uncomfortable because I am constantly turning him down. Ouch. It was really hard for me to face, but I knew that it was true.

I want to make something really clear. I never thought that I was "holding out on him" to punish him or anything. My "thinking", if you will, was that I was protecting myself from being taken advantage of because we were constantly having issues. I didn't feel like dropping my guard and letting him in.

Yesterday's lesson hit me hard. When it asked- "has your love in the past been based on your spouse's attributes and behavior?" I immediately thought about the fact that I had been rejecting my husband's attempts to make love with me simply because of his attributes and behavior. I'm not sure I can get any more selfish than that. I felt shame and regret.

My husband has a physical and emotional need when it comes to sex and I haven't been meeting either one of them, so I chose to make love with him to show him how much I cherish him. My eyes are welling now as I tell you that it was different in the most amazing way. I can't explain any of it. All I know is that my heart is open in a way that it elating and scary. I've been protecting myself all of this time, but I'm letting go and letting God.

These past 2 days have been pivotal. I can't wait to see what happens next.

1 comment:

  1. me neither! i want an update :) and fyi, your disclaimer at the top actually served as an advertisement to me, me a perv if you must!
    love you!



Related Posts with Thumbnails