Thursday, March 12, 2009

Day 3- Love is not Selfish

Be devoted on one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor. --Romans 12:10

Today's Dare:

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today."

What did you choose to give your spouse? What happened when you gave it?

Wow, this was a tough chapter to read. No one wants to admit just how selfish they really are. The book says that selfishness is basically the opposite of love. Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. We are selfish from birth and if we aren't careful- we can let our selfishness take over our adult lives.

These words put it all into perspective for me: True love looks for ways to say "yes." Choosing to love your mate will cause you to say "no" to what you want so you can say "yes" to what they need.

The book also says that one ironic aspect of selfishness is that even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain bragging rights or receive a reward. If you do a good thing to deceive or manipulate your partner, you are still being selfish.

Anyway- once I read the part about true love looks for ways to say yes- I knew what I had to get him. Just recently, Havie mentioned that he would like to get some waders (rubber overalls with boots on the end for fishing) so that he can try to catch more fish. I immediately said that we would have to see about our budget. The truth is that they aren't expensive and if I wasn't so used to automatically telling him no- We could put it in the budget!

I got to Academy to buy the waders and I was overwhelmed by the selection. Of course no one would help me, so I ended up calling Havie to ask him what kind he would like. I tried to play it off like I was looking online. I really hate lying and I don't think I'm very good at it. I was sure I had given myself away. After I got back into the truck, I called him and told him the truth.

He didn't really respond, and it frustrated me. Selfishness rearing it's ugly head. I wanted him to be happy and proud of me. I was expecting some kind of reward. It didn't help that when he tried them on, they were not big enough. I was so disgusted with it all. But it occurred to me that I was being tested. I need to experience all of this. I can't turn a blind eye. Life isn't perfect, even when I am trying. There will be hiccups and I need to be strong enough to make it through them.

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