Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You. --Psalm 25:20
Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you're expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you'll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.
When you place high expectations on your spouse that they don't feel internally motivated to attain, what does that tell you about yourself? What are some better ways to deal with these disconnects?
I chose to apologize to my husband for being so hard on him about his joking around. Havie has never come right out and said that I'm expecting too much of him, but I can tell by his reactions and the fact that he hasn't changed any. One aspect of it that he has truly tried to restrain from is his degrading remarks about himself. A few week ago, I expressed to him that it really bothered me that he was willing to talk so badly about himself.
I often take his joking way too personally and feel disrespected by it. Not that he is saying anything degrading about me. I want to make that clear. I've never really considered his motivation behind it which is to make me happy. I am sure this all sounds silly, but our fights often begin with him making some joking comment that I get all booty hurt about and then it spirals from there.
This chapter made me realize that I need to relax, consider his motivation, and see it at face value. I also need to really consider if I am truly offended or if I am just irritated and wanting him to change because I've asked him to. It is so small, but it's grown to be a big problem. I need to let it go.