Thursday, May 21, 2009

Day 31- Love and Marriage

A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. --Genesis 2:24

Today's Dare-

Is there a "leaving" issue you haven't been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.

Has this been a hard thing for you to deal with? How has it affected your relationship? If the worse offender in this area is your spouse (with your in-laws), how can you lovingly move this toward a better solution?

Fortunately, this is one issue that we don't really have in our marriage. This chapter is all about breaking the ties of our families and putting our spouse first. Our relationships with our family have to change when we get married because we have to find our own path as a couple. They give an example that your parents should step into the role of counselors to be respected, but can no longer tell you what to do.

I actually know a number of friends who struggle with this. They never really "left" home in that their parents still have more weight in their life than their partner. They haven't found a path as a couple and all of their decisions are made by their parents or family members.

We have both felt pulled by our families at one time or another. We've felt the need to please them and comply with their wishes, but we have somehow found a way to come together and make the choice that was best for us. I know that at times, those choices have left his family thinking that I make the decision for him. Havie changed ALOT once we decided to get married. All of his priorities changed. So, I can understand that it might look like I'm the one controlling everything because they can't imagine him making that choice.

I would like to make it clear though, we never make a decision alone. Period. I truly honor his opinion and I don't do anything that he disagrees with. We work hard to find a win-win solution. Sometimes we have to compromise, but we can live with that. At the end of the day, we know that we did what we had to do for us. And that's all that matters.

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