Tuesday, January 26, 2010


"So... A new blog name. Really? Why?"

Hmmm, good question. And there really is a good answer, but it's a bit of a story. Care to listen?

Back in 2005, I joined Myspace and started blogging there. I didn't know what I was doing, but I just used it as a way to keep my family informed and also to express myself. There was no rhyme or reason, no structure, but I loved it. Back in the summer of '08, I started blogging about my weight loss attempts and found it thrilling. It was cathartic for me and I got so much support from my friends through the blog. I was hooked.

About the same time, two things happened:

1. Myspace was being replaced by Facebook.
2. I discovered Blogger.

So without doing any research as to how start a blog- I set out and failed miserably at two blogs. No catchy name, no real "theme", no consistency... They sucked.

Then one more thing happened: My marriage was failing. Cue- The Love Dare. We saw Fireproof, I went and bought the book, and with some online research saw that many couples were blogging about their experiences. Hence, La Vida Ledesma was born.

I had a name, I had a theme, I had consistency- I had a successful blog! But then, it wasn't really about the blog. I worked hard to finish that 40-day Love Dare. It was tough, but so worth it. Through that process, I actually learned so much about myself and I had a spiritual breakthrough. But eventhough it was amazing for me, my husband felt differently about it. In the end, it didn't have the desired effect on our marriage and within months we separated.

That's when the bottom dropped out for me folks. I was so broken, but at the same time this resolve emerged. I was determined to pull myself out of that hole and emerge a stronger person than I've ever been.

I abandoned La Vida Ledesma and started a new blog. Butterflying Brandi was my attempt to get my stuff together. You can read about the meaning behind the name here. And it was incredibly therapeutic to write about what I was doing, experiencing, learning. This amazing thing happened:

When I started working on myself (instead of my marriage) the marriage just started working itself out. Isn't that wierd? I learned alot from that. Made me see just how much of a role I played in our problems. I don't want to make it sounds like I'm the only one who needed to do work, it's not like that at all. But what I found is that it was okay for me to make the first steps. I didn't have to worry about him or us. I just needed to worry about me.

And then an even more amazing thing happened which you can read about here. We had no clue or plan to find our faith when we did, but isn't that how all the great things in life happen? Reading the Scriptures, praying, and sharing the gospel bring us closer in ways that I couldn't have fathomed before. Of course, we continue to have our struggles, but I've been amazed that we remain diligent about our faith and focusing on better ourselves- we seem to resolve our issues.

But the most amazing thing of all that has happened to me (and I'm getting to the end, I promise) is personal revelation. My entire life view has shifted. Which sounds major (and it is) but at the same time it had to happen with all of this newly found knowledge.

My blog tagline was "I'm on a journey. I don't know where it ends, but I know it begins with me." Now I know that isn't true. I KNOW where that journey ends but I won't get there until I'm dead. It didn't begin with me either, but I am on a journey for sure. I also realized that I'm never going to reach perfection in this lifetime, but that's ok. I can be happy and imperfect. But that doesn't mean I should also just be content the way I am. I should always be striving to improve. I found this quote last week that perfectly sums up what I've been feeling.

"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb." -Winston Churchill

Thanks to Miley, "the climb" is a pretty cheesy idea these days, but stop and think about what that really means. Yes, our journey will eventually end, but not while we are alive. As long as there is blood pumping through my veins and a thought in my brain, I will have room to improve.

I don't know about you, but that is incredibly freeing to me. That I don't have to meet some deadline (no pun intended). And I will fail. I will not be perfect. But that is part of the process.

So, that's why this blog is titled: La Vida Subida. Roughly translated, it means Life's Climb. If you were to put it into a translator it would also come up with Life Increase, which I like too. Plus it goes well with La Vida Ledesma which is making a comeback with a fresh voice soon.

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