I've heard over and over again that I'm so strong. That I'm handling everything so well. "If it was me..."
I haven't been so sure. I can stay calm most of the time, but inside I feel like a little war is raging. It's a constant battle to remember the good in the world and not let every negative thought/feeling/whim take over. I'm never really trying to hide it from anyone but it seems like it's easy to keep a handle on in front of other people. When I'm home alone- not so easy.
Time is probably part of the answer because I DO feel stronger today. The past week has been crazy and there's been lots of stress but right now almost everything is packed and I'm resting up to load everything tomorrow. And I feel somehow stronger.
Last week I saw Kelly Clarkson performing a song from her new album, Stronger, on The View and I have since fallen in love with it. It feels like the soundtrack to my life right now. One song in particular feels like it could have been written for me. I know what I'll be listening to on the road Friday!