Here's the plan stan

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It's about 2:30am here and I am WIDE awake.  My sleep schedule is all kinds of crazy these days!  It's a side effect of my pain meds which I have been trying to take as little as possible of.  I requested non-narcotics due to a family history of addiction, I just like to be safe rather than sorry...  But my Dr. flat out said, you're gonna need narcotics.  LOL...  I don't know why, but it really cracked me up.

ANYWAY

There's not much to do this time of morning except read The Half-Blood Prince (which I will be doing as soon as I finish typing this here blog) so I thought I might spend some time thinking about my goals.

1.  Pray.
I am really bad about forgetting to explain that I know first and foremost that I have a Heavenly Father who knows me personally, loves me, and has a plan for me.  It is the first thing I think about, but something I often forget to mention.  I had a revelation a while ago that this road was NOT going to be easy because I don't tend to appreciate things that come to me easily.  I am honestly not in control of anything.  He is.  But I do have agency to make choices in my life and I have commandments to follow.  I also know that there is nothing commanded that He will not provide a way to accomplish.  Having said all that, prayer is priority #1.

2.  Love on my Husband.
This may seem like a strange goal, but golly this has been tough for him.  He had his worst fears realized when he had to break the news to me after I woke up from the procedure.  All of this hits a little too close to home and is reminding him so much of the loss of his mother.  NOT that I am dying!  It's just all the years of taking care of her and feeling so much a loss of faith.  He is an amazing care taker and I am one lucky woman to have him as my eternal partner.  This trial has brought us closer and is strengthening our marriage everyday.

3.  Eat Clean.
This is something I've been incorporating into my life for close to a year.  I first discovered the concept of Clean Eating thanks to Anonymous Fat Girl.  If you've never heard of it, according to Clean Eating Magazine:

The soul of clean eating is consuming food in it's most natural state, or as close to it as possible.  It's not a diet; it's a lifestyle approach to food and its preparation leading to health, well-being and a lean look.

Foundation of a clean-eater's diet:

• Colorful fruit & veggies
• Whole Grains
• Lean Protein
• Water

Things to steer clear of:

• Overly processed, refined foods
• Refined flour and sugar
• Saturated and Trans fats
• Anything fried
• Sugar-laden colas and juices
• Alcohol

What I love about this concept is that it is so simple, natural, and is really kind of common sense.  What I first read about the idea of Clean Eating, I couldn't help but correlate the principles with the Word of Wisdom.  It's a plan that works for me- it makes sense.

4.  Move.
Exercise was a big part of my life for a while there.  I was pretty active up until about a little over a month ago.  That's when a depression I had been fighting off for a little while (thanks to the high-hormone birth control I have been taking) really sunk in.  I gratefully, have been able to snap out of that funk and hope to return to some enjoyable activity after being cleared by my Dr. on the 4th.  My plan includes dancing, walking my dogs, and possibly joining the athletic club across the street to partake of their wonderful lap pool.

5.  Breathe.
This is the final goal and it's an important one for me.  I don't want to become stressed out with all of these goals I want to accomplish.  I am going to take this nice and easy.  Stop and smell the flowers if you will.  Go with the flow.  Hmmm, I think I ran out of cheesy lines with that one.  But you get the picture.

The Climax

The climax (from the Greek word “κλῖμαξ” (klimax) meaning “staircase” and “ladder”) or turning point of a narrative work is its point of highest tension or drama or when the action starts in which the solution is given.^[1][2]

We've recently been discussing plot with the 4th graders on our campus. We have been using a graphic of a mountain to help the students understand the elements of plot.

It all starts with a problem at the base of the mountain. Then climbing up the mountain is your rising action. The peak of the mountain represents the climax or turning point of the story. Then it's "all downhill" until you reach the resolution.

I know that real life doesn't always follow the "rules", but every time I think I've reached the climax of my current situation, I look up and realize I'm not even close yet. It's like this mountain keeps stretching taller when I'm not looking.

I feel so exhausted from the climb. I always feel like giving up. Sometimes I just want to stop right where I am, but it doesn't take me long to figure out that this isn't where I want or need to be. So, I look back down the mountain. It's always VERY tempting to head on back down. It would be pretty easy to do. But then again, I've worked so hard to get here and I just can't imagine letting all of that hard work go to waste! Besides, my problem is still down there at the bottom so I'm just going to have to start all over again eventually. And sometimes that thought makes me feel very bitter. What choice do I have? It's not fair.

Sometimes I get stuck right there, maybe for a little time, but I'm embarrassed to admit that sometimes I let it last way too long.  Sometimes I've been stuck so long that I look around and I'm not even sure where I am or where I'm going anymore.

I always end up deciding to move forward.  I guess I'm just that kind of gal.  I push forward, head down, trying to get where I need to be.  But as I mentioned, I don't seem to be reaching the top.  I continue to do the same thing even though it hasn't been working out for me.  Because I think it's what's right?  Because I think it's what other people want me to do?  Because I don't know what else to do?  I really don't know.

But now that I think about it, there's probably more than one path up the mountain.  And there's probably no shame in having to head back a little if it means finding a more suitable path.  Even if I had to start completely over, I would have learned so much about climbing mountains that I would have a better idea of what to do next time.  Some patience might be helpful as well.

Most of all, I realize that I haven't been using my resources very wisely.  I haven't been humble enough to seek out my Heavenly Father's plan for me.  I haven't had faith in the process.  I've lamented for not knowing what to do, but I haven't even asked.  Now, that's just plain silly when I really think about it.

Now that I know, I can't continue on this road.  I'm not sure what I will do just yet.  I need to get on my knees and ask.