What next?

I'm writing this post mainly as a way for me to get it all out there and hopefully help make a decision, but if you happen to have an opinion or some advice, I'd love to hear it.

Lubbock or Corpus Christi?  That is the question.

Let's start with Corpus Christi since I'm already here:
Pros-

• My sister and aunt live here
• I have some great friends here
• I have a job
• It would make continuing my business (Twisted Sisters Crochet) with my sister easier
• My mom and step-dad would probably visit more frequently since they have other friends and family here.

Cons-

• I would be near him which makes me feel uneasy.
• The cost of living is higher so I don't think I could live on my own.
• Which means I'd probably have to look for another job anyway and the new job probably won't let me crochet all day.
• I don't have anyone to take me in while I get on my feet.
• I don't really like it here- haven't really wanted to live here for a while now.

And now for Lubbock...
Pros-

• I have a sister and lots of family there.  It's where I grew up.
• My closest friends live there.
• Cost of living is lower, would be more manageable on my own.
• I can stay with my grandparents while I get on my feet.
• I can help my grandparents.
• I love it there.  I've wanted to move home for a long time.  
• I wouldn't be anywhere near him.

Cons-

• I have to find a job
• Brit and I will have to do all of our Twisted Sisters stuff long distance.
• I probably won't have a job where I can crochet all day which is going to impact the business.
• I'm less likely to have my Mom and Step-dad visit.
• My grandparents live an hour outside of Lubbock so I will be driving two hours a day which will easily be $100 in gas a week/$400 a month which is basically rent.  Meaning I won't be able to do it for long.

I guess the question really is whether I should be cautious and stay where I am (eventhough I'm not sure I will have anywhere to live by the beginning of November) or take the risk and go where I really want to go but don't have a job yet and will have the additional costs of moving and storing my things until I can get out on my own.

For now, I am going to ACT on both.  I'm going to look for jobs in both cities and start packing.  I'm going to keep praying about it and hopefully the right path will reveal itself to me!

Warrior

Image from Pinterest

Woke up feeling energetic and peaceful after finally getting a good night's rest.  Still eating better and taking better care of myself.

You say that you realize now that I didn't deserve what you did to me.  You say that you can't bear to sell your ring eventhough you need the money.  You say that you aren't trying to win be back and that you know it's over- so please stop lingering around when you come to pick stuff up.  Stop making up reasons to call.  Stop trying to get me to tell you what I'm doing and where I am.  Please, for your sake as much as mine, please start letting go.

Baby Steps

There aren't many things that I have control over right now.  Not that I'm interested in being in control, it's just that I sort of feel like I'm in the middle of a whirlwind with nothing to hold on to.  So I picked something that I could use to steady myself and feel like I'm moving in the right direction.

I absolutely have control over how I take care of myself.  I can hang on to that.  I can focus on that and start moving in a positive direction.

So I woke up early, ate a bowl of oatmeal and an apple.  I packed a healthy lunch for work.  I took a long, hot, and much needed shower.  Now I'm going to fix my hair and put on makeup for the first time in too long.

I know it may seem superficial, but it's a place to start.