The Man in the Mirror

"If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make the change..."

Let's rewind the tapes a little bit to about 6 months ago. I have been suffering for a while now between my job and my home life. I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself and completely helpless. It was actually incredibly pathetic... So, Havie goes out and randomly buys Michael Jackson's greatest hits cd. One afternoon, I get in, turn the car on and The Man in the Mirror comes on. It had been such a long time since I had heard the song. I listened to it over and over and I started to realize that I wasn't helpless. That if I wanted my life to be different, the change was going to have to start with me.

Michael Jackson's death has catapualted his music to the forefront in the past few days, so I have heard The Man in the Mirror a few more times. I've been reflecting on the past 6 months of my life, and on one hand I am really proud of the progress I've made. I had the courage to change my work situation, I've worked on my relationship, and I've had a spiritual awakening. On the other hand, I can see where I have slacked off and I know that I've refused to face some things that really need to be changed.

Change is tough. It doesn't always feel good. In fact, sometimes it down right hurts until you get to the other side. I have been a coward and I've looked for the instant gratification. I don't want to waste anymore time. I have got to face myself in the mirror and just do it. No excuses, no fear, no looking back.

A friend of mine recently wrote a blog about improvement vs. growth (thanks Brandy). Her whole idea was that you can have improvement without growth, but you don't have growth without improvement. Improvement is great, but it is temporary unless it leads to growth. However, growth is something that you can't just wish for or decide. It takes time, patience, and persistence to attain. Growth requires a change at the most basic level which is certainly difficult to do. I say all of this mostly as a reminder to myself of what lies ahead.

I won't be able to do it alone, but I will be responsible for making it happen. I will have to reach out to others and especially God, but I can sit around and wait for Him to change me anymore. He wants me to pick myself up and do it.

First and foremost, I want to finish up The Love Dare. I haven't given up on it or stopped thinking about it. I have been at a stand still because this next dare requires me to find a "spiritual advisor". The person that I had originally planned to ask just so happened to reveal a character trait right about that time that led me to believe that they would not be the loving person that I am supposed to seek out. I have an idea of who, but just waiting for an opportunity to talk to them about it.

The next project is going to be Extreme Makeover: Brandi Edition... LOL, sorry it just came to me like that. But seriously, I am going to be working hard on some much needed self-improvement. I will be rolling that our shortly!

Vacation

My mom is the entire reason that I moved to Corpus Christi back in 2001. She had lived here since I was in the 4th grade, and at 20-years-old I was needing to reconnect with her. I never meant to make a life here, but after graduation I met my husband and the rest is history.

Four years ago, my mother and step-father moved to Charlotte, NC to be closer to his son. My mom has made it back down to Texas 3 times, but I had yet to go see her. So, I finally decided to make it happen this summer. It turned out to be a wonderful vacation and I wish I wouldn't have waited so long to go.

I got on the road around 6am Wednesday morning and drove to San Antonio to catch my flight to Charlotte. Even with gas and parking, flying from SA saved me about $200! It made for a long day, so I may have to re-think that in the future. My mom and Colin met me at the airport and we waited for Havie's flight from New Orleans to arrive. They immediately took us to this "artsy fartsy" area of Charlotte called the NoDa District. It was my kind of place- we had a great dinner at Cabo Fish Taco.

This place was super busy for a Wednesday night!

Historic Fire Station

Some Brand New Lofts that actually stuck out like a sore thumb in this historic neighborhood.

The Crepe Cellar

Mom standing in front of Beet

We got up early Thursday morning and got on the road. We drove about 4 hours south to Beaufort, SC to see my husband's oldest brother and his family. We were just a few more miles from Savannah, GA. I wish we would have had more time to keep going and see it, but we'll save it for next time. We did a little bit of sight seeing, but mostly spent time with his neices.

This is the only thing you see for miles on the highway!

Beaufort, SC

Havie's oldest brother Sylvester and his baby Aemiliana (Milly)

Havie and his neice Gabby

Friday night, my mom and Colin took us to this awesome little BBQ joint called Rock House. It has a lot of historical significance, but I'm not going to bore you with that. North Carolina bbq is different from Texas Barbecue. The ribs had a dry rub like the ones you find in Memphis, but they also had a number of sauces. They were really sweet and vinegary- yum, yum! Right outside was a little farmer's market. We picked up some fresh strawberries, tomatoes, corn and squash for our big Father's Day grill-out. We then took a tour of Charlotte and ended up at the coolest Starbucks I've ever seen. The night ended with the girls inside talking and the guys out on the patio smoking cigars...

I had to get a shot with Colin's Harley

Some great bbq!

My mommy and I at the farmer's market

Havie picking out a tomato for his world famous beans!

Saturday morning started with coffee on the sun porch. I absolutely love this part of my mom's house. Her back yard sits right on a green belt, so there's huge trees just feet from the porch. It stays shaded and cool. The rest of the day was spent shopping with mom for a piece of art to go over our fireplace- and I found just what I was looking for at an awesome place called Old Time Pottery. Then we met up with the guys for dinner at The Green Tomato. Good old fashioned southern food... the fried green tomatoes were to die for! We left with our bellies full! We went back home and watched movies in our comfy clothes!

Now, this is what I call living

You really have to look UP to see the sky in this neck of the woods

Isn't it great?

Sunday morning we had a big breakfast for Father's Day. Havie and I decided to get out on our own a little bit and explore Charlotte. It is a big city, but it doesn't look like one. The trees are so massive and everywhere that you can't see what's right around the corner. There aren't huge signs for every store everywhere you look. And another thing, people were incredibly polite. I thought that Texans were nice... Even the servers at fast food places would say things like "my pleasure". We were floored.

Anyway, Charlotte has a ton of history and the architecture to prove it. If you are considering a vacation, but want to go somewhere inexpensive- I highly recommend it. We had a great time and we didn't even scratch the surface of what was available out there.

Monday morning rolled around and we headed off for the airport. I actually got to hang out with Havie until I boarded my flight which was really nice. The last flight from DFW to San Antonio was late, but my bag was the first off the plane! I was on the road back home by 1:30pm. Got back here around 4pm and crashed.

Don't Call it a Comeback

I am officially off my hiatus and stepping back into the blogging world, so to kick things off-

Marriage Survey

When is your "engagement" anniversary: November 3, 2005

When is your "marriage" anniversary: November 4, 2006

How long have you known your spouse: Will be 5 years August 21st

How long did you date before you were engaged: a little over a year

Where did you meet your spouse for the first time? At Rack Daddy's pool hall

What is your spouse's full name? Xavier Ledesma (no middle name... and the only one in his family without one!)

Do you have any children? Not yet, but we can't wait to start a family!

How many? 0

Do you have any house pets? yes, a 2-year-old ChihPoo Thumper, and 1-year-old Shihtzu Georgie

Do you own a house or rent? Rent

Do you live in a country or town/city? Corpus Christi hardly qualifies as a city, but I guess that's what you would call it.

What is one of your favorite activities together: drive, barbecue, movies, beach, travel, bum around the house

Do you have a favorite vacation spot? not really, but we both want to visit Italy in the coming years

How many siblings (including in-laws) do you have? four sisters, a step-sister, two step-brothers, three brother-in-laws and three sister-in-laws

What church do you attend? Freedom Church

Is this the church you were married in? Nope, it didn't exist when we got married... We were married at the Corpus Christi Watergardens

What town is your current address at? Corpus Christi

Do you work or stay at home? Work

Where did you go on your honeymoon? we never had a honeymoon!

Who drives when you go out together? typically Havie

How long have you been together? almost 5 years

How long did you know each other before you started dating? a week or two... he was too chicken to ask me out! LOL

Who asked who out? He asked my roommate to ask me out! too funny

How old are each of you? We are both 28, but I am not quite 2 months older than him... a fact that he loves to point out.

Whose siblings do you see the most? Mine because his are all so far away

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple? We both have a lot of baggage that we're working through

Did you go to the same school? nope

Are you from the same home town? nope- he's technically not even from the same state!

Who is smarter? depends on the situation.

Who is more sensitive? I am more emotionally sensitive, but Havie can be sensitive in other ways...

Where do you eat out most as a couple? We like to switch it up, so there isn't one place that stands out

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? our recent trip to Charlotte, NC/Beaufort, SC

Who has the craziest exes? No Comment

Who has the worse temper? Probably me, but Havie likes to provoke me because he thinks it's cute when I'm angry...

Who does the cooking? I enjoy cooking, but I don't get to do it that much because my husband is a wannabe gourmet chef

Who is more social? Havie makes a new friend every day...

Who is the neat-freak? Neither one of us, but Havie worries about it way more than I do

Who is more stubborn? We are equally stubborn

Who hogs the bed? Havie!!!

Who wakes up earlier? It used to be him, but now it's me

Where was your first date? Executive Surf Club

Who has the bigger family? His is bigger when you consider his father's "new" family and all of his extended family

Do you get flowers often? define often. I get them a couple of times a year. I love it when Havie makes me a bouquet on his own.

How do you spend the holidays? With family. We always try to make it up to Spur, TX for the Watson family Christmas.

On Hiatus

I am going to have to put blogging on hiatus temporarily while I pack and move...

I'll be back!