Chillin' Like A...

I've been meaning to get on here for a week now and update you on my "mission".  I have to say that it was a complete success!  YAY!  I didn't get to do everything that I would have liked to, but by the end of the 5 days, I had a clean and straightened home.  I had also finished some projects that had been on the backburner for a long time.

And thanks to some honest commentary from friends (Thank you so much by the way!), I also emerged with a new attitude and perspective.  I'm ready to admit that I have been way too hard on myself which is the main reason things get so bad to begin with!  I let things get backed up a little bit, then start beating myself up about it, which in turn keeps me from doing what I need to do, which only leads to the problem getting worse...  UGH, get me off this crazy rollercoaster!

So, I decided to take a chill pill.  Yes, I still don't think I have any excuse to not stay on top of things (no kids), but beating myself up about it is counter productive.  I am doing what I can when I can and I'm not freaking out about what is going left unfinished.  I've managed to stay sane all week!  Aren't you proud of me?!

There's so much more I want to tell you about!  Some big stuff is coming so stay tuned!

But in the mean time, tell me- What's your hangup?  Is there something you're proned to beat yourself up about?  Let me know I'm not a weirdo out here being hard on myself!

Mission: Possible?

Anyone who knows me very well or has read my blog very long can tell you that I have many goals. There are many things that I hope to do in regards to myself, my home, my family. The problem is that I never seem to reach these goals.

The problem isn't a lack of motivation, rather it's an issue of being overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of it all.  And being overwhelmed usually leads to me not doing anything at all which of course only exacerbates the issues at hand.

While I have MANY goals, I realized a few months ago that I have to get my household and routine in order before I will be able to tackle anything else.  Maybe some people can do it the other way around, but I have finally figured out that I need the structure in my home in order to function well at everything else.

So I've worked for the last few months at it and have honestly gotten NO where and just more frustrated in the process.  I've tried to figure out how things got so crazy and that's when I remembered something crucial:  I used to have one week, two week, three month breaks when I was teaching that I used to catch up on organization, cleaning, and paper clutter.  I don't have that anymore, but I've never put something in it's place.

I think I have a plan to shake things up a bit!

Starting tomorrow, I will be spending the next 5 days cleaning, organizing, and restoring my sanity.  I originally wanted to take an entire week off work and utilize the weekends before and after, but that didn't work out. 

I'm praying that I will be able to stay focused and determined to meet my goals.  I'm sure I won't be able to complete EVERYTHING I'd like to do, but I hope it will be enough to allow us to make some new routines and live a less chaotic lifestyle.

Oh, and I keep getting the prompting to ask for help, so if you feel like teaching me- I'd really appreciate the assistance!

A Lesson in Gratitude

I think it's safe to say that I am pretty much completely pathologically unable to be satisfied with my life- with myself.  I can sit here and try to explain why, but it really doesn't matter.  The point is that it's time to change.

High expectations are good.  Unrealistic expectations are not.  Having an eye on the future and improving are good unless it keeps you from seeing the here and now.  You cannot expect to receive blessings if you can't appreciate the ones you already have.

The issue is mine and mine alone.

And, it's time.

I just don't like it...

If you live in Corpus Christi, then I'm sure you've already received your new mail-out from Bay Area Fellowship.  If you live somewhere else- here's the deal:

We have a HUGE church here in town that is very modern and cool.  They have like a million service times and have their own band and have these "series" with cool themes to go along with their message.  They send mail-outs to everyone in the area before each new series and make it seem very relevant and exciting.

Havie and I visited the church a few years ago before they moved into their new mega-building and we really didn't like it.  To each their own!  The message was good, we just didn't feel comfortable.  It was too flashy and packed (and no one even said hi to us!).  It just wasn't a good fit, but they are obvioulsy reaching tons of people so more power to them has always been my attitude until today...

This latest stunt is too much for me.

Yesterday I kept reading online about some church who was giving away over $1 million worth of prizes on Easter weekend.  Cars, flatscreens, laptops and more...  I thought that it sounded terrible. 

Then I get home to find a mailer in our mailbox and realized the church they were talking about was right here in Corpus Christi!  Bay Area Fellowship has outdone themselves this time and I really believe it is indicative of some real issues going on over there.

I just think it's sad.  It's the wrong message.  Easter Sunday brings out huge numbers anyway, so my opinion is that they are trying to funnel the masses to THEIR church.  I don't think this is about Jesus.  He is going to be overshadowed by the promise of STUFF.  It seems to send the message that Jesus isn't sensational enough on his own.  The story has to be pumped up by the promise of possibly winning some cool stuff for your time.  Sad.

I pray that some of the people who attend with receive the message of Christ.

One Great Conversation

I had the most wonderful conversation with a man from my hometown this morning, and it totally took me out of my non-blogging slump to share some thoughts with you.

I am currently working as an Administrative Assistant for a small family-owned business in the cotton industry.  More specifically, the company I work for designs, sells, and services cotton module equipment all around the world with very few competitors.  One of the pieces we sell looks like this:

In fact, our only competitor for module trucks is in Lubbock!  Anyway- we put the big steel box on the back (among other things).  So, this morning, we had a new truck chassis delivered from the West Texas Peterbilt.  The driver needed to kill some time before he left for the airport so we had ourselves a little talk.

This guy was FASCINATING to me!  He was originally from New York and had become a truck driver back in the 70's.  Back then you only got paid when your truck was full.  He had taken a load from Birmingham to Idaho and they didn't have anything for him to pick up, so he was driving back unpaid.  He got called to run a load to Ft. Stockton and then to Lubbock.  When he got to Lubbock, he had been driving unpaid for days and he was sick of it, so he quit.  Dropped the rig off in Slaton and decided he would just stay put. 

He said it took him 4 weeks to find a job, and that entire time a woman in Slaton let him stay at her little inn on the promise that he would pay her when he found a job.  And he helped her by mowing the lawn around the hotel and stuff.  He had to hitchike to job search, but he ended up getting hired by the City of Lubbock to work at the airport.  Back then, they wanted you living at the airport, so they GAVE YOU A HOUSE!  Seriously.  So that pretty much all worked out just fine and dandy for him and he worked for the city for 25 years when he retired.

Oh, and he did pay that lady back with his very first paycheck and he slept on the floor of that house until he saved up for a bed, but he was just fine.

I was so struck by this guys story and it made me feel lots of stuff:

1.  He was BRAVE.  I mean, who does that?

2.  Things in this world sure have CHANGED.  We don't trust each other anymore.  Most people wouldn't take care of you like that!

3.  I sure miss Lubbock.

I'm sure it's not like it used to be, but I know it's still a great place to live.  It's where my history and family and many friends are.  I know it gets a bad rap, but it's one of those things that's hard to appreciate when you've never lived there or you've never left.

I wonder if I can get a good Southwest deal and go home?

Days Like This

I feel like I have so much to say right now, but don't really know how to say any of it right now- so this will have to do for now.

My Sweetheart

image found here

This is a habanero. It is one of the spiciest chili peppers known to man.

This is my Havienero. He is the spiciest man known to this woman. He is unequivocally the better half, but that makes me the lucky half and I'm cool with that.

(His name is Xavier which is pronounced ha-vee-ed in Spanish, but is family calls him Havie for short. Get it?)

Happy Valentine's Day!