A Lesson in Gratitude

I think it's safe to say that I am pretty much completely pathologically unable to be satisfied with my life- with myself.  I can sit here and try to explain why, but it really doesn't matter.  The point is that it's time to change.

High expectations are good.  Unrealistic expectations are not.  Having an eye on the future and improving are good unless it keeps you from seeing the here and now.  You cannot expect to receive blessings if you can't appreciate the ones you already have.

The issue is mine and mine alone.

And, it's time.

I just don't like it...

If you live in Corpus Christi, then I'm sure you've already received your new mail-out from Bay Area Fellowship.  If you live somewhere else- here's the deal:

We have a HUGE church here in town that is very modern and cool.  They have like a million service times and have their own band and have these "series" with cool themes to go along with their message.  They send mail-outs to everyone in the area before each new series and make it seem very relevant and exciting.

Havie and I visited the church a few years ago before they moved into their new mega-building and we really didn't like it.  To each their own!  The message was good, we just didn't feel comfortable.  It was too flashy and packed (and no one even said hi to us!).  It just wasn't a good fit, but they are obvioulsy reaching tons of people so more power to them has always been my attitude until today...

This latest stunt is too much for me.

Yesterday I kept reading online about some church who was giving away over $1 million worth of prizes on Easter weekend.  Cars, flatscreens, laptops and more...  I thought that it sounded terrible. 

Then I get home to find a mailer in our mailbox and realized the church they were talking about was right here in Corpus Christi!  Bay Area Fellowship has outdone themselves this time and I really believe it is indicative of some real issues going on over there.

I just think it's sad.  It's the wrong message.  Easter Sunday brings out huge numbers anyway, so my opinion is that they are trying to funnel the masses to THEIR church.  I don't think this is about Jesus.  He is going to be overshadowed by the promise of STUFF.  It seems to send the message that Jesus isn't sensational enough on his own.  The story has to be pumped up by the promise of possibly winning some cool stuff for your time.  Sad.

I pray that some of the people who attend with receive the message of Christ.

One Great Conversation

I had the most wonderful conversation with a man from my hometown this morning, and it totally took me out of my non-blogging slump to share some thoughts with you.

I am currently working as an Administrative Assistant for a small family-owned business in the cotton industry.  More specifically, the company I work for designs, sells, and services cotton module equipment all around the world with very few competitors.  One of the pieces we sell looks like this:

In fact, our only competitor for module trucks is in Lubbock!  Anyway- we put the big steel box on the back (among other things).  So, this morning, we had a new truck chassis delivered from the West Texas Peterbilt.  The driver needed to kill some time before he left for the airport so we had ourselves a little talk.

This guy was FASCINATING to me!  He was originally from New York and had become a truck driver back in the 70's.  Back then you only got paid when your truck was full.  He had taken a load from Birmingham to Idaho and they didn't have anything for him to pick up, so he was driving back unpaid.  He got called to run a load to Ft. Stockton and then to Lubbock.  When he got to Lubbock, he had been driving unpaid for days and he was sick of it, so he quit.  Dropped the rig off in Slaton and decided he would just stay put. 

He said it took him 4 weeks to find a job, and that entire time a woman in Slaton let him stay at her little inn on the promise that he would pay her when he found a job.  And he helped her by mowing the lawn around the hotel and stuff.  He had to hitchike to job search, but he ended up getting hired by the City of Lubbock to work at the airport.  Back then, they wanted you living at the airport, so they GAVE YOU A HOUSE!  Seriously.  So that pretty much all worked out just fine and dandy for him and he worked for the city for 25 years when he retired.

Oh, and he did pay that lady back with his very first paycheck and he slept on the floor of that house until he saved up for a bed, but he was just fine.

I was so struck by this guys story and it made me feel lots of stuff:

1.  He was BRAVE.  I mean, who does that?

2.  Things in this world sure have CHANGED.  We don't trust each other anymore.  Most people wouldn't take care of you like that!

3.  I sure miss Lubbock.

I'm sure it's not like it used to be, but I know it's still a great place to live.  It's where my history and family and many friends are.  I know it gets a bad rap, but it's one of those things that's hard to appreciate when you've never lived there or you've never left.

I wonder if I can get a good Southwest deal and go home?

Days Like This

I feel like I have so much to say right now, but don't really know how to say any of it right now- so this will have to do for now.

My Sweetheart

image found here

This is a habanero. It is one of the spiciest chili peppers known to man.

This is my Havienero. He is the spiciest man known to this woman. He is unequivocally the better half, but that makes me the lucky half and I'm cool with that.

(His name is Xavier which is pronounced ha-vee-ed in Spanish, but is family calls him Havie for short. Get it?)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Big Girl Panties

I put them on, and I'm getting over it.

No more feeling sorry for myself. No more sitting around waiting for something to happen. It is so shameful the way I have acted and thought here recently. I have so much to be grateful for. I did some soul searching today and finally decided that it was time to move on.

I opened the windows to let some light in. Put on some music (which is still playing). Got in the kitchen and started cleaning up the mess that has been there for DAYS while I sat here feeling depressed. Sorry for myself if I'm being totally honest (which apparently I am).

Then it started happening. The music started moving me. The sun started soaking in and I started feeling... Happy? Yes, I think so. I even danced. What?!

And that's when my Heavenly Father decided to knock me upside the head. This song started playing:

Well, I knew He was talking to me. I knew that I really needed to LISTEN. I fell to my knees right there, and I just listened. I felt so full of the Spirit. And He was testifying to me.

As the song neared it's end, all of a sudden I felt a shove on my chest. My eyes popped open in shock and Georgie's nose was right in front of mine. I looked into those soulful eyes and I just giggled and cried at the same time.

How do I manage to forget this? How can I take it all for granted? Why am I filled with anything but gratitude?

I really don't know.

So, I got back up off the floor and with big girl panties firmly in place and attitude readjusted, I proceeded to CLEAN the kitchen. And I felt better when I was done. Please don't misunderstand that my world revolves around how clean my house is, but I've found that my surrounds tend to look like the way my insides feel. It needed to be done, and I needed to do it.

P.S. Image searching for "big girl panties" is interesting. You should try it.

Simon Loves You

Friday night, we were invited to an American Idol Karaoke Party at the Mikelson's. I was ecstatic because I felt I had found an answer to my quandry. You see, I have this 30-before-30 list- And one of my goals, #27 to be exact, had me wondering how it would be accomplished since I have no desire to head into a bar...

So, I can scratch #27 off the list! I made a fool of myself singing karaoke in the comfort of our friend's home. And I tell you what, I thought sober karaoke would be really scary, but it was so much FUN! Seriously. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Did I mention that my husband also sang? Holy Canolli- he sure did! It was so stinkin' cute!

And although, there were some naysayers who suggest that I in fact, did NOT actually make a fool of myself because I ended up the "winner"- I'd like to remind you of one rendition in particular:

Beyonce's Irreplaceable

'Nuff Said.