Fertility Frustration

I'm back!

I just don't know how else to get all of this out!

I know that I've talked a little bit about how I wanted to lose weight in order to have babies here, but this blog has never really been about fertility. I'm not sure that it's going to turn into that now, it's just what I need to talk about right now.

I started seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist in late 2009. The plan was to spend the next year charting temps/cervical fluid and try to lose as much weight as possible.

In October, I still hadn't ovulated. I had been able to lose about 30 pounds. I was frustrated.

I headed back into my Dr. We talked about PCOS as one likely possibility and set out to try to get a diagnosis, but a wrench was thrown in the plan during my first sonogram. A large "mass" was detected on my uterus. A CT Scan and two more sonograms have brought us to today. We still don't know exactly where the cyst is located other than adjacent to my left ovary.

Since it is so large and hasn't changed one bit since the first sono in December, my Dr. has decided it's time to move forward with a laparoscopic procedure. Not that you wanted to know, but I'm due for a period any day now. As soon as it's over, I am supposed to call back to schedule the procedure. He is wanted to get it done as soon as possible, so I'm guessing it will be within the next two weeks.

I have mixed feelings. On the one hand this is good news because we couldn't move forward with any fertility treatment or testing because we were monitoring the cyst and didn't want to potentially make it grow. Once this is taken care of, we can hopefully move on. I've had to be on birth control for the last 3 months and will be on it for at least one month more which has been incredibly frustrating. All I really care about is getting pregnant these days and this would be a big step in this direction!

On the other hand, most of the research I've read advises against surgery if at all possible. You can often do more damage trying to remove the cyst which can cause more fertility issues. My Dr. believes there's a good change the cyst is on my fallopian tube since it hasn't changed. He said ovarian cysts tend to get bigger or smaller and rarely stay constant. If that's the case, I could lose a fallopian tube.

My Dr. assured me he would avoid removal at all costs. It is an outpatient procedure, but I will go under anesthesia. I will be fully recovered in a week. Best case scenario is that the cyst is on my ovary, is benign and they can just drain it. Worst case scenario is that it is entangled or deeply embedded and actually requires a more massive surgery to be removed. Even if that's the case, he won't perform it that day unless there's a medical emergency.

You know, just typing this all out is calming me down. I'm not afraid of the procedure really or they cyst, I just don't want to diminish my chances of getting pregnant any more than it already is.

Oh, and the weight is still an issue. I have lost another 13 pounds since October, but I've hit a plateau and it's going to take some more effort on my part to push on through.

I don't know how regularly I'm going to make it back here, but I hope to be able to chronicle some of this. I've been struggling with some depression (one of the lovely side effects of this birth control) but it would probably help to talk about it more.