Vacation

My mom is the entire reason that I moved to Corpus Christi back in 2001. She had lived here since I was in the 4th grade, and at 20-years-old I was needing to reconnect with her. I never meant to make a life here, but after graduation I met my husband and the rest is history.

Four years ago, my mother and step-father moved to Charlotte, NC to be closer to his son. My mom has made it back down to Texas 3 times, but I had yet to go see her. So, I finally decided to make it happen this summer. It turned out to be a wonderful vacation and I wish I wouldn't have waited so long to go.

I got on the road around 6am Wednesday morning and drove to San Antonio to catch my flight to Charlotte. Even with gas and parking, flying from SA saved me about $200! It made for a long day, so I may have to re-think that in the future. My mom and Colin met me at the airport and we waited for Havie's flight from New Orleans to arrive. They immediately took us to this "artsy fartsy" area of Charlotte called the NoDa District. It was my kind of place- we had a great dinner at Cabo Fish Taco.

This place was super busy for a Wednesday night!

Historic Fire Station

Some Brand New Lofts that actually stuck out like a sore thumb in this historic neighborhood.

The Crepe Cellar

Mom standing in front of Beet

We got up early Thursday morning and got on the road. We drove about 4 hours south to Beaufort, SC to see my husband's oldest brother and his family. We were just a few more miles from Savannah, GA. I wish we would have had more time to keep going and see it, but we'll save it for next time. We did a little bit of sight seeing, but mostly spent time with his neices.

This is the only thing you see for miles on the highway!

Beaufort, SC

Havie's oldest brother Sylvester and his baby Aemiliana (Milly)

Havie and his neice Gabby

Friday night, my mom and Colin took us to this awesome little BBQ joint called Rock House. It has a lot of historical significance, but I'm not going to bore you with that. North Carolina bbq is different from Texas Barbecue. The ribs had a dry rub like the ones you find in Memphis, but they also had a number of sauces. They were really sweet and vinegary- yum, yum! Right outside was a little farmer's market. We picked up some fresh strawberries, tomatoes, corn and squash for our big Father's Day grill-out. We then took a tour of Charlotte and ended up at the coolest Starbucks I've ever seen. The night ended with the girls inside talking and the guys out on the patio smoking cigars...

I had to get a shot with Colin's Harley

Some great bbq!

My mommy and I at the farmer's market

Havie picking out a tomato for his world famous beans!

Saturday morning started with coffee on the sun porch. I absolutely love this part of my mom's house. Her back yard sits right on a green belt, so there's huge trees just feet from the porch. It stays shaded and cool. The rest of the day was spent shopping with mom for a piece of art to go over our fireplace- and I found just what I was looking for at an awesome place called Old Time Pottery. Then we met up with the guys for dinner at The Green Tomato. Good old fashioned southern food... the fried green tomatoes were to die for! We left with our bellies full! We went back home and watched movies in our comfy clothes!

Now, this is what I call living

You really have to look UP to see the sky in this neck of the woods

Isn't it great?

Sunday morning we had a big breakfast for Father's Day. Havie and I decided to get out on our own a little bit and explore Charlotte. It is a big city, but it doesn't look like one. The trees are so massive and everywhere that you can't see what's right around the corner. There aren't huge signs for every store everywhere you look. And another thing, people were incredibly polite. I thought that Texans were nice... Even the servers at fast food places would say things like "my pleasure". We were floored.

Anyway, Charlotte has a ton of history and the architecture to prove it. If you are considering a vacation, but want to go somewhere inexpensive- I highly recommend it. We had a great time and we didn't even scratch the surface of what was available out there.

Monday morning rolled around and we headed off for the airport. I actually got to hang out with Havie until I boarded my flight which was really nice. The last flight from DFW to San Antonio was late, but my bag was the first off the plane! I was on the road back home by 1:30pm. Got back here around 4pm and crashed.

Don't Call it a Comeback

I am officially off my hiatus and stepping back into the blogging world, so to kick things off-

Marriage Survey

When is your "engagement" anniversary: November 3, 2005

When is your "marriage" anniversary: November 4, 2006

How long have you known your spouse: Will be 5 years August 21st

How long did you date before you were engaged: a little over a year

Where did you meet your spouse for the first time? At Rack Daddy's pool hall

What is your spouse's full name? Xavier Ledesma (no middle name... and the only one in his family without one!)

Do you have any children? Not yet, but we can't wait to start a family!

How many? 0

Do you have any house pets? yes, a 2-year-old ChihPoo Thumper, and 1-year-old Shihtzu Georgie

Do you own a house or rent? Rent

Do you live in a country or town/city? Corpus Christi hardly qualifies as a city, but I guess that's what you would call it.

What is one of your favorite activities together: drive, barbecue, movies, beach, travel, bum around the house

Do you have a favorite vacation spot? not really, but we both want to visit Italy in the coming years

How many siblings (including in-laws) do you have? four sisters, a step-sister, two step-brothers, three brother-in-laws and three sister-in-laws

What church do you attend? Freedom Church

Is this the church you were married in? Nope, it didn't exist when we got married... We were married at the Corpus Christi Watergardens

What town is your current address at? Corpus Christi

Do you work or stay at home? Work

Where did you go on your honeymoon? we never had a honeymoon!

Who drives when you go out together? typically Havie

How long have you been together? almost 5 years

How long did you know each other before you started dating? a week or two... he was too chicken to ask me out! LOL

Who asked who out? He asked my roommate to ask me out! too funny

How old are each of you? We are both 28, but I am not quite 2 months older than him... a fact that he loves to point out.

Whose siblings do you see the most? Mine because his are all so far away

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple? We both have a lot of baggage that we're working through

Did you go to the same school? nope

Are you from the same home town? nope- he's technically not even from the same state!

Who is smarter? depends on the situation.

Who is more sensitive? I am more emotionally sensitive, but Havie can be sensitive in other ways...

Where do you eat out most as a couple? We like to switch it up, so there isn't one place that stands out

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? our recent trip to Charlotte, NC/Beaufort, SC

Who has the craziest exes? No Comment

Who has the worse temper? Probably me, but Havie likes to provoke me because he thinks it's cute when I'm angry...

Who does the cooking? I enjoy cooking, but I don't get to do it that much because my husband is a wannabe gourmet chef

Who is more social? Havie makes a new friend every day...

Who is the neat-freak? Neither one of us, but Havie worries about it way more than I do

Who is more stubborn? We are equally stubborn

Who hogs the bed? Havie!!!

Who wakes up earlier? It used to be him, but now it's me

Where was your first date? Executive Surf Club

Who has the bigger family? His is bigger when you consider his father's "new" family and all of his extended family

Do you get flowers often? define often. I get them a couple of times a year. I love it when Havie makes me a bouquet on his own.

How do you spend the holidays? With family. We always try to make it up to Spur, TX for the Watson family Christmas.

On Hiatus

I am going to have to put blogging on hiatus temporarily while I pack and move...

I'll be back!

POST #50!

I just realized that the last blog was #50! I think I finally managed to start a blog and keep it going! Woo HOO!

Day 33- Love completes each other

If two lie together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? --Ecclesiastes 4:11

Today's Dare-

Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.

What are some upcoming decisions you can make together? What did you learn today about the role of your mate?

I am just in awe at how the right dares seem to come along at the right time... We are currently apartment hunting in an effort to reduce our budget so Havie can go back to school. I have been working on it for weeks and I found what I felt like what the best deal for an apartment that we would still be comfortable in. I made it a point to schedule an appointment while he was in town because even though he was saying that he didn't care- I wanted his input.

My husband doesn't like to make decisions. He doesn't typically like to share his opinions. I honestly refuse to make decisions completely on my own, so it has been a big source of trouble for us. I've been telling myself that it was just his personality, but I have come to the realization that he doesn't think I value his opinions, so he just keeps them to himself.

I am a very intrapersonal communicator. I am constantly talking to myself in my head. Running through things, contemplating things, analyzing things. I've always looked at an issue from all angles before I even bring it to anyone else. So many times he gives an opinon and I immediately give my rebuttal. It's not that I'm trying to argue, I've just already thought of that and decided that it's not a good idea. He takes it very personally, and I can see why. It looks like I don't value him.

So, yesterday I found out about another apartment that would only be $15/month more than the one I've already picked out, but it is a two bedroom with a garage and shared fenced yard. The drawback of the two bedroom is that it is much older and is in a not as nice neighborhood. After I explained all of this to Havie, I asked him what he thought. At first he said that he didn't care. I told him that I valued his opinion and didn't want to make this decision alone.

He started to give his opinion, and I caught myself about to shoot down something he said. I stopped and really listened to what he had to say. I realized that (shocker!) I don't know everything. If I am doing all of this analysis on my end- it is all based on my opinion of what is most important. The book says, "don't try doing all the analysis yourself." I have always wanted our decisions to be mutual (and I think that many of them are), but I have discredited many of his opinions and that has to stop.

Day 32- Love meets sexual needs

**WARNING- Once again, this blog contains information that is likely to induce blushing and make you feel uncomfortable... Proceed with caution**

The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. --1 Corinthians 7:3

Today's Dare-

If at all possible, try to initiate sex with you husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.

Was this a satisfying experience for you? If it didn't turn out the way you'd hoped, what doyou think is complicating matters? Have you committed this to prayer? If it was a true blessing for both of you, what can you learn from this for the future?

This chapter struck a chord for me. In the chapter, it said "If you let your mate know- by words, actions, or inactions- that sex needn't be any more than you want it to be, you rob from them a sense of honor and endearment that has been set in place by biblical mandate. You violate the "one flesh" unity of marriage." This hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been so selfish, and to be totally honest- I have used the lack of sex as a punishment. I'm sure I make myself out to be the worst wife ever... and maybe I have been. At the time, I told myself- why am I going to have sex with him after he has made me so mad today? I hope that I'm not the only person thinking that way.

The chapter goes on to say "now it is your turn to pay the loving price to win the heart of your mate. When you do, you will enjoy the pure delight that flows when sex is done for all the right reasons." How beautiful.

Initiating sex is really hard for me. I think it makes me feel really vulnerable, and I absolutely HATE feeling that way. But, I really wanted to complete this dare. In fact, I know that this is one of my husband's strongest desires is for me to initiate sex. He has often asked me why I don't and has asked me if I am not attracted to him. I had a few days to pray about it and ask for courage.

So anyway... Mission Accomplished! It was satisfying, but all of this just makes me realize that the self-esteem/insecurity stuff has got to be dealt with. I just don't know how you really fix it. If you have any suggestions, I am absolutely open!

Day 31- Love and Marriage

A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. --Genesis 2:24

Today's Dare-

Is there a "leaving" issue you haven't been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.

Has this been a hard thing for you to deal with? How has it affected your relationship? If the worse offender in this area is your spouse (with your in-laws), how can you lovingly move this toward a better solution?

Fortunately, this is one issue that we don't really have in our marriage. This chapter is all about breaking the ties of our families and putting our spouse first. Our relationships with our family have to change when we get married because we have to find our own path as a couple. They give an example that your parents should step into the role of counselors to be respected, but can no longer tell you what to do.

I actually know a number of friends who struggle with this. They never really "left" home in that their parents still have more weight in their life than their partner. They haven't found a path as a couple and all of their decisions are made by their parents or family members.

We have both felt pulled by our families at one time or another. We've felt the need to please them and comply with their wishes, but we have somehow found a way to come together and make the choice that was best for us. I know that at times, those choices have left his family thinking that I make the decision for him. Havie changed ALOT once we decided to get married. All of his priorities changed. So, I can understand that it might look like I'm the one controlling everything because they can't imagine him making that choice.

I would like to make it clear though, we never make a decision alone. Period. I truly honor his opinion and I don't do anything that he disagrees with. We work hard to find a win-win solution. Sometimes we have to compromise, but we can live with that. At the end of the day, we know that we did what we had to do for us. And that's all that matters.